What is Reality?

After an amazing night last Thursday, I took the weekend to recuperate mentally and physically from having the time of my life. Spending months building up to an exciting event and having to return to nothing to look forward to is an agonizing feeling. I’ve found myself torn between gratefulness and sadness, trying to extend the joy derived from a moment. Even though you can be one hundred percent living in the now, once it’s gone, it can leave your heart feeling a little depleted. Over the past few days, I have been desperately seeking something new to be excited about, a new adventure to fearlessly dive into. I think that this could take a while. I do know that I must start writing again, that I really need to let myself get lost in it, because there are times where I have nothing else and I need to reach for my words. These days it seems that I am visiting with dreams that are fleeting, and when I wake up I’m the one who has to figure out where the next chapter will be as though I hadn’t read the previous one.

I have had one wish fulfilled this year, and the rest of the months have been nothing more than an uphill battle. What I am hoping is that life will start to fall into place now that I’ve had such an exciting week. I’ve never dealt well with reality, especially after I have taken a temporary escape. To be honest, the world where we are free, where we become one with the music and the spirit inside of us feels more real to me than the every day. I’ve been asking myself today what reality really means. I think that it is just a necessary part of the dance, but there are so many illusions that exist within our day to day lives. My goal for this week is to recognize them and try to find some of last week’s magic in new endeavours. My heart has expanded just that little bit more.