As the Summer Fades

The summer is coming to an end. Fall breezes are starting to drift through my window and I welcome them with excitement—I won’t miss the humidity and the way it stole all my energy for hours at a time. I think of what this summer has been, that I spent most of it in anticipation, and how that’s what made it a great summer for the first time in a couple of years. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past week about how I might gain some of that anticipation back. There could be something amazing just around the corner and I just haven’t discovered it yet—at least that’s the hope. Underneath all the frustration I admit to have been feeling lately, I still have some patience left, if only because I know that I have to. I’ll keep shaping my words and seeking out new prospects day after day because I know that this pause in the progress of my life can’t last forever. There has to be more out there, I simply need to be brave enough to seek it.

As summer fades, I embrace my dear friend autumn who has always welcomed my dreams with open arms.  There is no secret her winds don’t know as they whisper through leaves of red, orange, and gold. She is waiting with me for new beginnings, listening to the lines of verse I write and warming my heart. She shows me that although there will be many more twists and turns ahead, the path I set before myself never has to come to an end.

What Motivates You?

I’ve been reaching high and low to find motivation lately, and although I know it’s there, I can’t quite grasp it. While last week felt like living again and reignited my passion and the spark of my creativity, this week has brought me back to mundane days and long nights trying to make sense of and sort through my dreams. Sometimes the hardest part is just beginning because the work ahead of you seems so daunting.  I have had to be patient with myself, for these days, my ideas want to sit below the surface, refusing to be released. I’m waiting for that burst of energy that lets me know I can dive forth into the unknown fearlessly.

What motivates me the most in this moment is the music, and the memories it has so recently created for me rising up in my soul; my dear friends who encourage me through the relentless storm of life that keeps coming back to retrieve a little bit more of my energy. Knowing that there is foundation that I can work from encourages me to keep moving forward and striving to return to where I used to be. For so long I had a plan, it just got off track for a while. I think that the key might be in trusting that there is more than one path that can lead you to where you need to be. With fall on the way, I anticipate that I will be able to recharge myself and tackle my projects with a new found motivation, letting passion lead the way. That’s the hope, at least. Only time will tell if I can make it work.

What motivates you?

Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson

Today, he would have been 54 years old. While I never paid that much attention to Michael Jackson while he was on this earth, he has opened my eyes to so much over the past few years. A smile is never far off when I think of Michael--he lived life from his heart and put endless passion into everything he did. Because of the mark he made on the music industry, he paved the way for other young artists, such as my boys Hanson, who were inspired by what he did and still are today. Even though he is gone, generation after generation will be here to discover his music and his message. He passed away far too young, however his influence on the world has not been lost.

The more I learn about Michael, the more my admiration for him grows. He gave to others and he loved with a pure heart and that love was unconditional—and he did this all with such great courage because he had to fight against all the lies that were spread about him and deal with so much cruelty  from the media. How incredible it was that he was able to keep so much love in his heart, that he never let himself become deterred from his mission to heal the world. Many would believe that Michael Jackson was simply the greatest entertainer who ever lived, but I see so much more than that. I see how he used his art to spread messages of hope, tolerance, peace and love, the time he gave to helping children in need all over the world. Michael understood what his purpose was on this earth and he lived that purpose fearlessly. He never let his gifts go to waste, and I hope that I can use mine in the way they were meant to be used. Not all of us are put on this earth to be legends, but we are all here to make a difference, and I believe that Michael wanted us to know this.

Today we honour a man who changed not only the face of the music industry, but taught us that nothing is impossible when we work together in love.  He is greatly missed in a world where we must deal with so many frightening events and heartbreaking tragedies. But there are so many who will remember all the joy that he brought to the universe with his music and his boundless heart. I would like to believe that he has finally found the peace his soul so desperately longed for. Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson.

The In-between

I write from a space where I am trying to bridge a very important gap. I woke up to the sound of the rain being carried on the wind, feeling as though I were being carried too. There’s so much more I have to understand if I am going to move forward and figure out a plan. This place I’ve been existing in still feels foreign to me, even though I’ve been here for quite a while now. I embrace the grey and foggy world outside of my window—today these skies are my friend. They will listen patiently and expect nothing from me in return, but I expect far too much from myself and I’m trying to reach heights that just aren’t possible for me yet. I know that they will be, one day, and I keep stretching my arms out to where they created wonders so effortlessly before so that I can return to where I had a path that I could walk on.

I have been inspired lately, and I’m still waiting for that inspiration to find its way to the page. As the summer fades away and the fall descends upon us, I hope that I can finally make a change that will transform my life for the better. The small steps are important as well, but I’m ready for those great strides. I want to gather my strength after the rain, to fight despite these trying circumstances, to keep building this belief until there is no longer any room left for doubt.

What is Reality?

After an amazing night last Thursday, I took the weekend to recuperate mentally and physically from having the time of my life. Spending months building up to an exciting event and having to return to nothing to look forward to is an agonizing feeling. I’ve found myself torn between gratefulness and sadness, trying to extend the joy derived from a moment. Even though you can be one hundred percent living in the now, once it’s gone, it can leave your heart feeling a little depleted. Over the past few days, I have been desperately seeking something new to be excited about, a new adventure to fearlessly dive into. I think that this could take a while. I do know that I must start writing again, that I really need to let myself get lost in it, because there are times where I have nothing else and I need to reach for my words. These days it seems that I am visiting with dreams that are fleeting, and when I wake up I’m the one who has to figure out where the next chapter will be as though I hadn’t read the previous one.

I have had one wish fulfilled this year, and the rest of the months have been nothing more than an uphill battle. What I am hoping is that life will start to fall into place now that I’ve had such an exciting week. I’ve never dealt well with reality, especially after I have taken a temporary escape. To be honest, the world where we are free, where we become one with the music and the spirit inside of us feels more real to me than the every day. I’ve been asking myself today what reality really means. I think that it is just a necessary part of the dance, but there are so many illusions that exist within our day to day lives. My goal for this week is to recognize them and try to find some of last week’s magic in new endeavours. My heart has expanded just that little bit more.